And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.
And he replied:
Go out into the darkness and put thine hand into the hand of God.
That shall be to thee better than a light and safer than a known way.
M.L. Haskins (1908)
Really missing our guy today, this weekend, often. This blog is a nice way to feel connected to him and be reminded of him.
ReplyDeleteOh, Kjirsten, I feel that connection when I read this too. Of course, I cannot turn in any direction here in this house without seeing John. His urn is sitting against the book case, with Guido holding his arms out ready to embrace. Harry sleeps at night in the French armchair beside the urn, but will never face it. I wonder if he knows? Just remember that your career will be a long one, and a difficult road to travel if you cannot detach, but that is something to think about from the beginning of a relationship, not now.. I am glad that you could see the wonderful person that John was. He did not even know it himself. When you got past the little boy's hurt, the inability to respond to others' imperfections with anything but anger and mistrust, a way of life instilled in him very young, there was this kind and loving soul, generosity of spirit, desire to learn and improve, He loved me; a very difficult thing to do; he loved his family; also difficult; and he loved Harry...not hard I admit. He even loved those who did not treat him well, and though he was angry and bitter about some things, underneath was deep and abiding love.
ReplyDeleteMost of all, I want to tell you that he was deeply grateful for the care that you, Eileen, Kate, Chana, Courtney and all the others gave him. He softened, melted when any of you came into the room, and what you gave back was unconditional love for someone who was not your own. What greater virtue can there be to give that. .